Things to leave in 2024
An existential crisis (standard), and reflecting on a funny old year.
Hello and good day to you all. I hope everyone is still caught somewhere in the throws of a restful holiday season. Personally, I’m caught between the throws of a few dichotomies; nostalgia versus resentment for the past; pondering what’s next for me versus trying to sit still for a while; wondering if everything will work out in the end, versus if everything is in reality, rather fucked. This most wonderful time of year is also the most draining time of year. Y’know, emotionally.
On that cheery note when I reflect on the last 12 months, it is not on the profound side of things that I choose to err, but on the cultural moments that defined 2024, that I for one hope are now artefacts. As ever, add add to the list in the comments…
Gendering items of clothing
“Isn’t she divine? I’m going to wear her with EVERYTHING”.
Did I miss something? When did our new dress/coat/handbag suddenly become a her?And why is this suddenly ubiquitous? Surely items of clothing are the most obvious of gender neutrals, what with them being INANIMATE OBJECTS and all. Let’s keep it that way.
Election Campaigns
Rishi in the rain, Donald ducking, and Simon Harris ignoring a care worker who was trying to pose a question about her being ignored. Quelle ironie. While it was all more interesting than what is to be found on Netflix, it did, by the time November rolled around, become tiresome. Political discourse can continue, but the intense election coverage can stay in 2024.
Tiktok Language
Tiktok is ticktoking, POV, demure and cute, Skibidi toilet. Novices like me do a good enough job of butchering language, inadvertently, on platforms such as this, without the kids casually conspiring to make no linguistic sense. Let’s hope 2025 becomes the year that we start to think our own sentences, and not mindlessly purport the slogans from the platform designed to encourage us all towards ADHD. If you think I’m being pedantic and grumpy, I am, but do keep in mind that this staccato ‘skibidi’ word, that sounds like venereal disease, doesn’t even mean anything, but is just a filler word. Just what we need.
BBC Scandals
Giovanni Pernice, Jermiane Jenas, Greg Wallace, Huw Edwards. The BBC has all the means in the world to do better on these fronts. But yet we have so many case studies of power corrupting anything that resembles due process. Let’s hope in 2025 it finally learns from these mishandled case studies. Viewers are more astute that what the institution seems to consider, and audiences will rightfully be less forgiving going forward.
Women wiggling their hands under their chin
What is with that? Is it emulating the emoji? But then the emoji is jazz hands, and is meant to be emulating human behaviour. So it is life imitating art, imitating life….? Too much to unpick. Pass me another Ferraro richer, I have maximum of 3 more thoughts in me for 2024 I and can’t go squandering them on the hand wiggling. Just make it stop.
And with that, let’s park women putting on baby voices for voiceovers. Or ever, really. In a world where, and forgive me for what I am about to say, women struggle to step into their power, it is a thoroughly disempowering move. Let’s all behave like the grownups we are in 2025.
Dynamic pricing
Another crock of shit served up to us in 2024. Oasis reformed (A Good Thing) and then thousands of people got screwed over with the dynamic pricing model (A Bad Thing), when ticket prices surge with demand. The Uber model, if you will. Can we all agree that this, as a concept, is utter horseshit?
Glorification of skinny
The mainlining of Ozempic and the likes confirmed what we all suspected - that body positivity was but a fad in and of itself, never really taken to the bony bosoms of the fashion elite. Skinny, just like good teeth, has become an indicator of not just dietary control but wealth. There is no doubt that it is a wonder drug - it is being trialled as treatment for other compulsive behaviours, like gambling - but I can’t help but think that the science is overtaking the time required by decision makers, and users, to work out how we responsibly use this marvel.
Trite as it sounds, perhaps recalibrating that balance begins with reminding ourselves that are worth is independent of our size. (*chants to self as swallows another Ferraro Rocher whole).
Taylor Swift
The Eras tour looked like great craic altogether, what with the cowboy hats, wristbands and assorted hooting. But all you Swifties have had your fun now. There can be nothing left for Ms Swift to achieve. So the party is over. Let’s grant her some leave to tailgate yer mans NFL games, or eat cheesy puffs on the sofa, or chill in whatever way she sees fit for a bit. We all need the respite.
I feel two stone mentally lighter after penning that. Thank you for indulging me, if you made it this far. No shade to those who didn’t, it was all rather moany.
Wishing everyone a lovely new years eve ahead, and to those feeling meh, let’s all agree that bout of existentialism induced by this time will be something we make a funny anecdote of by the weekend.
Thanks for reading
Big love
Una
x
I am so excited for the day Travis plays in one of his sports games and I DON'T receive an email questioning why Taylor wasn't there or what she wore if she was (the latter being even less newsworthy more often than not)
Get more moany! Get it out of the system once in a while!! I will hopefully be asleep for midnight. Growing up I was always aware that my Mother did not like New Years Eve and tried to pretend otherwise until we were older. She then told me it was always the saddest and loneliest of nights when you think of those you lost. So my adorable Mother implanted that to me about it and don’t get me started on dancing and crying to Aul Lang Syne’( is that even his you spell it!) As my very prosaic 17 year old Son said’ it’s only the usual changing of a Wednesday to a Thursday just with more drink. So Happy New Years Úna!