Reclaiming Valentine's Day

Who said it's just for couples anyway?

What the world needs now is love, sweet love

It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of

Given that Valentines day is almost upon us, I’m societally/culturally conditioned to make some self deprecating remarks, probably about Bridget Jones and/or cats, and bemoan my single status. Maybe something melodramatic about dying alone, my cold corpse providing sustenance for the felines, plenty to go around LOL! But the truth is that I LOVE Valentine’s Day. In a world of struggles, sure isn’t it great to celebrate a (ok, made up by capitalists and fuelled by consumerism but sure so are a lot of “Days”) day to celebrate the romances of this world?

However

By ‘romances’ I do not mean the people who are ‘in love’. Good luck to them, but all of that contrived stuff that we are sure to see on our IG feeds is a)tedious and b)surely diluted in significance when not kept private. No, I mean the romances that have less to so with whom one chooses to sleep with, and more to do with whatever happens in life that makes ones heart happy. Like the friends who chooses to share with you their happy personal news, as in invitation to share in their joy like a precious secret shared, safe in the knowledge that it will be congratulated and celebrated. Or when someone you reciprocally value says “you have a special kind heart’, or “I’m glad I know you”, and you can feel the sentiment melt away some of life’s strain, and remain on an a high for a week from that little word gift. Maybe I’m just starved of the non-platonic stuff, but if those little moments aren’t romance, I don’t know what is.

I heard someone who is in a relationship say of Valentine’s day “It is commercial BS for people incapable of independent thought….We ignore it”. I did note the heavy irony of expressing an action as a “we” while condemning a ‘lack of independent thought’, but more than that I thought, come on. There’s enough bloody hate in this world, even if you don’t like the concept there really isn’t a need to get riled up about it. Save that for real problems. It’s ok to remain Valentine’s Day neutral.

So here, in full acknowledgment that it is frivolous and silly, and yes unnecessarily expensive, are my thoughts on what could make a regular old February Friday, romantic.

The Outfit

I’d take any excuse to get wearing this dress, but I’m equally glad for my bank balance that opportunity hasn’t presented. It is is a beauty - I’ve seen it IRL and the quality is top notch - better than the photo might suggest. As it happens, I’m going on a dream date with a few friends and family I don’t see enough, which will be delightful - but I won’t be buying this dress for the occasion.

Dress By Nadine Merabi

What I might do is take the excuse to update the ol’ sleepwear/underwear drawer, for no ones benefit other than my own. For something fancy and fun, Dora Larsen underwear gets it right every time. And for a cami set, Rosie for M&S is a forever favourite. Socks, dressing gown, this set and a glass of red by the fire. Perfect.

The gifts

Again, I hasten to add, not the reserve of those ‘in love’, and just as a “I appreciate you” token, even to yourself. One of my favourite Valentine’s Day surprises was a bunch of beautiful flowers sent to me by my best girlfriend, not sent because of my expectations of her, or demands - just to bring a smile to my face. And that they did. So flowers, be they from the supermarket, lego aisle (that’s a thing), or florist, particularly when unexpected, are joyful. (However, flowers are not a good gift for a host - too much faff for them with all the unwrapping and stem cutting, in the middle of all the other stuff that comes with hosting. This is nothing to so with Valentine’s day, but the point remains).

A gift of the recipient’s favourite perfume, or an introduction to a new one, is also lovely thing. This Tom Ford is divine, like smoky roses.

If you’re so inclined to self gift, or justify a spenny purchase to yourself, now is a good time too. A ‘to me from me’ gift is, in my experience, a memorable, empowering moment. I’ll never forget buying my first designer handbag (a tan Mulberry Bayswater). I still have and love it. If you’re in the market, this is a beauty - great size, light, swings over the shoulder. Terrific.

And do you know what else? It doesn’t even take any of the above. A colleague recently left a packet of cadbury’s buttons on my desk, for me to find when next I was in. She downplayed it when I thanked her, but what a lovely gesture.

The Date

A moment please, for the driving range. I went for the first time in a long time recently and was reminded of how good a setting it is to slow down, focus intently on something, and shoot the breeze with someone (in my case, my nephew). It might just be the perfect activity when investing time in getting to know someone better, or even just to spend some alone time in the outdoors, trying something new. I’ll be back.

The words

Choose your own of course, but if you can’t, there’s a hell of a lot of terrific song lyrics to choose from. Too many to mention, but there is one that comes recurrently to mind lately, when thinking of all the platonic and familial love around me. I’ve noticed that there are people who simply strip their teeth, bare them, and call it a smile, and then there are people who smile with their eyes, giving the effect that their face lights up when they see you. I favour the latter, and hope that I am that, too. It reminds me of this song, and I have it on repeat.

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Wishing you all a happy Valentine's Day. It may be a silly made up day, but maybe that’s what the world needs a little more of.

Back Sunday

BIG ROMANTIC LOVE

Una

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